sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
