; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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