Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
