also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
