Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
