8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
