Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
