good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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