They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
