I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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