The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
