who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
