She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
