you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
