1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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