dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it because I queefed?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
