I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize