covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
