i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
