Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there was a trapeze. enough said
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
