No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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