i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
