are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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