My brain says no but my pants say off.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
