I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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