Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
