There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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