How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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