Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
