I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
