I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
