Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
