why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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