Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
