I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
