Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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