I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
