this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
