his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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