Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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