also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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