i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
