i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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