ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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