So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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