We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
