I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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