You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize