If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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