She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
