I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
