i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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